Wedding Etiquette 101: Do's and Don'ts

Lately, I've been coming across questions regarding wedding do's and don'ts. Many of these questions I felt were somewhat tricky but others I considered to be common do's and don'ts.  Alas, there is still much conversation needed regarding wedding etiquette.  So let's tackle a few of these questions:

Questions and Answers

• Should I give a gift to the couple after I literally had to pay to be in the wedding (bridesmaid/groomsmen)?

                     Yes. The polite thing to do would be to get a gift,                                 perhaps something small or sentimental. Hopefully, you                     have an understanding couple who would not expect                         much if anything at all from the wedding party, so it                            would be a pleasant surprise if you did. However, please                    consider that the couple thought highly enough of you                      for them to invite you to be a part of their special day, so                    with that said, just be considerate.

• Should we pay for our vendors to eat at our wedding? They're working for us and we're paying them, shouldn't that be enough?

                    Yes. You should pay for ALL of your guests, vendors                            included. It's the hospitable thing to do. Many of these                       vendors are at your wedding for 5 plus hours. That's a                         substantial amount of time not to eat or have a proper                       break. Consider it a tip!

• I'm not/can't attend the wedding, so I don't have to get the couple a gift, right?
  

                   No. You should give the couple a gift. I'll state again, the                   couple thought highly enough of you to invite you to                           their special day, you should show the least bit of                                 gratitude, especially if your denying the request of                              attendance, by sending them a gift, big or small.

• One of my bridesmaids "got pregnant", would it be bad if I asked her to not be in my wedding but be a guest?
  

                   No. Although I do not see the big deal in being pregnant                    during a wedding or being a pregnant bridesmaid; I do                      however don't think it's necessarily bad to ask her to "sit                    out", if that's truly what you want. With that said, I will                          emphasize handling it tastefully. Address points such as                    dress fitting difficulties, fatigue, early/ late labor, being                      uncomfortable, financial burden etc. These points will                        help her better understand various perspectives.                                  Furthermore, the bride can offer her a different position                     such as attendee, hostess, or honorary bridesmaid. *Note                   if you're asking for selfish, vanity, or insignificant reasons,                     you ought to be ashamed of yourself. 

• One of my bridesmaids knows nothing about doing hair/makeup but insists that she does her own for the wedding. How should I convince her to leave it to a professional?
  

                     I feel that the bride should have the final say on what                         goes for the wedding with regards to hair and make up,                     within reasonable limits (i.e. drastic cuts, damaging                              hairstyles, chemically altering hair via perms, relaxers,                         dyes, etc.). But no need to be a diva about it. Just take                        her to a Mac/makeup counter to experiment with a few                     things to get her comfortable or to a trusted hair                                   dresser or google a few styles that fit her to get her                             feedback! She may surprise you and come all the way                       around!
In conclusion, when all else fails use good 'ole home training and common courtesy.

As always, I look forward to your feedback so please feel free to leave comments, questions, as well as future topics you would like me to discuss. POSITIVE VIBES ONLY!